I was in my head again...

It happens from time to time - i should
really stay outta there. <br>
<br>
i know i need to go out and be social. it just doesn't seem to be
convenient or affordable or anything worth while lately. ugh... that's
the uptight part of my family speaking there. the past few years i've
been trying to be responsible "handle my business" as it were and all
that seems to have done is make me more isolated than i was before. it
gets me angry and frustrated and confused and depressed sometimes!
that's when i get in my head, when i start thinking about that stuff. <br>
<br>
WTF! i'm just trying to do what's right and expected of me but it feels
like i'm beating my head against a wall half the time. <br>
i know that this is how life works. i know that others have more dire
circumstances than myself. i even try to lend a hand and help those i
care about if they let me. but even that feels hallow and pointless at
times. how can i help people when i can't seem to keep my head on
straight?!?<br>
<br>
there's an animated show called " the bookdocks". it's funny, very
blunt, takes a bit of an extreme look at certain subjects. I watched an
episode where two of the main characters are talking at the end of the
episode. <br>
<br>
Huey: Granddad, what do you do when there's nothing you can do?<br>
Granddad: You do what you can.<br>
<br>
that's how i feel 90% of the time! i do what i can but it doesn't feel
like it matters or helps, even when i'm trying to be helpful. i do what i can but it's not enough and i don't have the means or power to do more.&nbsp;<br>

This is only part what is living in my head...