This being April, I can say that in the short time span of this year I've had several fucked up dreams regarding my biological mother. But I just woke up and can write this one down...

My dream was that the Howard Stern Radio Show secretly came to Portland and was broadcasting from Dantes downtown. As I'm listening to this on the radio I rush downtown to see the show. I talk to Frank and say something like "you didn't think I'd want to see the show?". He starts to explain how much of a pain in the ass it was to set up and so forth. As I turn to get a seat I see someone shleping radio equipment and it's my mother! Out of a sence of duty I go outside to help. From two blocks away I hear:
her: Robert? Robert Lewis Baldwin?
me: What?
her: Get your ass over here and help your mother!
me: What do you think I'm doing?!

I magically appear at the side of her car and she begins to open doors and try to introduce me to some skank. Then she starts barking orders at me! She trys to give me a hug, I buffer it with my left arm and pat her on the back with my right. She barks some orders at me and I think "Fuck this shit!". She then starts saying something about "Chickens coming home to roost" but stops knowing that she's putting both feet in her mouth. But before I can replay and yet at her and tell her about herself... the alarm goes off!

I wake up breathing heavy and pissed off. It seems that when I finally come to grips with my attitude towards "her" I have a dream or something will occur to squash that mental calm. FUCK!