This morning I met a man who is only 10yrs older than myself and is trying to get his job back. This man, wearing typical grey/blue work coveralls, a ball cap, an overall look that screams "grease monkey", walks into my cubbyhole of an office and asks if I'm ORC (the oregon racing commission). I tell him no, that's next door. He proceeds to ask me if his paperwork is good or acceptable, then explains how he just wants to work and that he shouldn't be judged on his past problems.

I'm no judge. I don't know the extent of this mans misdeeds, don't know why he spent 10yrs living on the street, don't know why he was let go from his job before. All I could see was the look of a man who wanted to earn a little bit of dignity in his life by doing the only job he believes he's qualified for.

Was I not that very same man a year/two years ago? Was I not trying to get hired at any place that would take me, that would let me use my talents, my skills for the benifit of their company? Hard times call for harder treatment and consideration but if the job is available and there's a man who can fulfill the duties, shouldn't he be hired? Shouldn't he be given the opportunity to work and hold his head up knowing that he can put food on the table and a roof over his head?

As I said, I don't know this man's past but a job is a job. I wish him well and good luck.

Tis the season...
WTF! Every year it seems the same. No matter how well life is treating you, the holidays roll around to kick you in the nuts and remind you of how alone you really are. It's not that the people in your life don't love you or care about you. But that you feel like the ever present 5th wheel. The single sympathy case. And it doesn't help that the woman in you life is out of town and can't spend a few hours with you - which is all you ever seem to get from her anyway. What The Fuck?!? I'm a pig, my apartment sucks and is a constant mess. I'm a dog, generally a loyal dog. But if you don't scrath my head or rub my belly (so to speak) than I'll start looking for someone who will. But I digress...

It's this time of year where you really want to be close to someone and have them around. Hanging with family doesn't do it. Partying with friends doesn't help. It's the one to one contact, physically holding & touching & feeling someone that connects you to what's happening around you. Seems odd but that's how you're wired.

I dunno... I know I'm not the only person on the planet to feel like this. But is feels as though that's the case most of the time.

Happy holidays? Yeah right.

It's wednesday night - my Friday. Over the past few weeks I've started a little ritual of buying a good piece of meat (steak), some good wine (beringer merlot) and try to enjoy my one day weekend.

Now, I could buy what ever looks freshest, and cost the least amount of money but fuck that noise. If I have the money in the bank I'l buy the most expensive steaks at Fred Meyers. The 3-pack of steaks I've been buying have generally fallen between $25-$30 dollars for the pack. A hefty piece of meat, cooked to medium rare, closer to rare but hot all the way through. No steak sauce, no ketchup, no special seasonings, just salt and grilled on high/medium.

And though I'm not a wine person. The Beringer 2005 Merlot is very tasty, hasn't let me down yet. I just wish it was in a larger bottle.

I have hippie-vegan friends who won't eat anything with a face. HAHAHAHA! FUCK THAT! My family didn't claw ther way up the food chain to eat tofu. And I can respect the choice. If you believe that the domestication, harvest and slaughter of animals is wrong - don't eat meat. That's your choice and you're welcome to it. I on the other hand love the taste of cooked, charred, grilled, broiled, boiled, baked, stewed & jerkied meat. There are delicious things on this world to eat and meat ranks in the top 5.

So, having just finished eating a 1lb steak I'm going to pour another glass of wine and digest the delicious meat and watch some boob tube.

PEACE

Let me state for the record, I am a man. That being said, it is my nature to want women in a sexual way. I love and appreciate women. And when I'm with a woman in a relationship I am generaly loyal and monogamus, meaning that it is never my intention to stray.

That being said, I say WHAT THE FUCK WOMEN?!? As I read the profiles on several dating sitesone of the fist things I read is that women are looking for: a serious relationship, are through playing games, no playas, no one night stands, no booty calls. Some either at the begining or end of this prolimation is the statement saying how many children they have, usually 2, 3 or 4 children. And it's a 50/50 chance that these same women have never been married. It reminds me of the line from Eddie Murphys RAW "how come by the time you meet a woman she's quite and shy. She's never from the town you're from. She's raised so much hell everywhere else that she had to move away and now she's quite and shy!" That's what I see on these profiles, women who've spread their legs for anyone with a hard rod, the first 30yrs of life now that they've been knocked up, popped out several kids (who are they're everything and always come first) now they want quiet, hard working poindexter to treat them well, not ask for too much sex (at least not right away). Now they want to be chased and courted, to be treated as more than a woman and without providing a woman services for the man that's trying to woo them? BULLSHIT! I call Shinanighans! It's give and take ladies. All men want sex but thats not all we want. You seem to think that holding out will cause us to want you more. That only works for 3, 4 dates at best. We'll keep dating you if only to fuck you then we'll leave. No man wants to feel as though he's an afterthought in your life. Your newfound approach to dating is going to boomerang back in your face. Quit demanding that things are going to go your way or no way. Quit looking for a serious relationship, you weren't looking for "serious" when you had your children, but it got serious real fast. How about starting off with dating. If there's anything real between you it will become serious. Hell, serious is the wrong way to look at it. How about it will be come a commited releationship. You both do for each other, you want each other, you need each other. Quit looking for a way to hold and keep or trap a man. Just look for a good man, no strings. The good men won't need them, he'll simply be there for you and you'll know that. He'll be yours. the more you try to push us into a corner, the harder we'll fight to get out of it - one way or another.

Let me state for the record, I am a man. That being said, it is my nature to want women in a sexual way. I love and appreciate women. And when I'm with a woman in a relationship I am generaly loyal and monogamus, meaning that it is never my intention to stray.

That being said, I say WHAT THE FUCK WOMEN?!? As I read the profiles on several dating sitesone of the fist things I read is that women are looking for: a serious relationship, are through playing games, no playas, no one night stands, no booty calls. Some either at the begining or end of this prolimation is the statement saying how many children they have, usually 2, 3 or 4 children. And it's a 50/50 chance that these same women have never been married. It reminds me of the line from Eddie Murphys RAW "how come by the time you meet a woman she's quite and shy. She's never from the town you're from. She's raised so much hell everywhere else that she had to move away and now she's quite and shy!" That's what I see on these profiles, women who've spread their legs for anyone with a hard rod, the first 30yrs of life now that they've been knocked up, popped out several kids (who are they're everything and always come first) now they want quiet, hard working poindexter to treat them well, not ask for too much sex (at least not right away). Now they want to be chased and courted, to be treated as more than a woman and without providing a woman services for the man that's trying to woo them? BULLSHIT! I call Shinanighans! It's give and take ladies. All men want sex but thats not all we want. You seem to think that holding out will cause us to want you more. That only works for 3, 4 dates at best. We'll keep dating you if only to fuck you then we'll leave. No man wants to feel as though he's an afterthought in your life. Your newfound approach to dating is going to boomerang back in your face. Quit demanding that things are going to go your way or no way. Quit looking for a serious relationship, you weren't looking for "serious" when you had your children, but it got serious real fast. How about starting off with dating. If there's anything real between you it will become serious. Hell, serious is the wrong way to look at it. How about it will be come a commited releationship. You both do for each other, you want each other, you need each other. Quit looking for a way to hold and keep or trap a man. Just look for a good man, no strings. The good men won't need them, he'll simply be there for you and you'll know that. He'll be yours. the more you try to push us into a corner, the harder we'll fight to get out of it - one way or another.

All day I've tried to keep my mind off of the Presidential Election. I've tried to focus on work, the task at hand while in the back of my mind I was was wondering "what if he wins?!" "what if he loses?" "what does this mean to me as a Black American?" "what does this mean for me as a Black Man?"...

And now at 8:15pm in Portland, Oregon the overwhelming results of the choices that millions of Americans have made are a hard reality. Barack H. Obama has been elected by the people to be Americas next President. It wasn't white people, it wasn't black people, it wasn't mexicans or chinese... IT WAS ALL AMERICAN PEOPLE! We all made our mark, cast our vote and lifted our voice to say it's time to change, time to get America out of this mess and We Want Our Country Back!

Though this is a momentus occasion, a historical landmark in American history, lest not forget there is much work to do. Though I'm not a religous person let us pray that our new President has the strength, the heart and the wisdom to lead this country back to it's proper place in the world. To make America the shining example of what is best in the world. To make us be the outstanding beacon of hope and freedom once again.

Do I place too much hope in this dream, this wish for American - YES I DO! This is America, don't dream have assed, don't strive for the middle, do not give up, stand on your own two feet and get the job done!

Right now it all feels like a dream and that when I wake up tomorrow the numbers will be changed, and we'll be stuck with more of the same. But I hope that this is real, and that tomorrow the people of color can walk with a longer stride, black men and women can hold their heads up a bit higher knowing that "The Dream" is now the reality. That young children of color will know that in America, anything is possible!

That which I say in private to myself, I say to you and anyone else how finds this blog... may the deities that watch over you, protect and help you in your journey.

We are not many races... we are all just one race, the human race. We need to remember that and treat each other as such.

Peace!