A week of pain and joy...

Though work was a bit of a struggle, it wasn't more than I could handle but in the midst of the work load I find out that a friend from the past killed himself, followed by the news that my stepmothers sister and her long time friend both died in the same morning, that my step-mother has been losing weight (they fear it might be stomach cancer. And that my father had an asthma attack which lead to a minor heartattack. 

There are those in my life who don't seem to understand my seclusion, why I've isolated myself and tried to keep my mind on work. These are people never have really understood me, my motovations, my past. I don't let them, they are users and their only concern is their well being. I don't reviel my past and the pain that still lingers to them. It's something that could be used or held against me. They would use it to analyze me, tell me how I should feel, that I should get some therapy. Fuck that bullshit! Those that love me know me enough to let me work things out and that I'll get back to being myself soon enough.

In light of all this pain there was some joy. A good friend became a proud poppa of a bouncing baby boy! He's wanted a child since his previous two marriages. This is something that makes me smile. It shows me that there is still some joy and hope in this world, regardless of what the media tells us. 

My current doldrums will end, hopefully sooner than later but they will end. 

Peace to those we have lost, my love to those who survived. You are not alone.