Time to pause and reflect...

As the Memorial Day weekend comes to a close, I look back at the time off and realize what has past and what is to come. Not only for the weekend but for quite some time in my life. 

I've spent some time with women but my needs and wants are never truely met. I'm a selfish man, though I've tried to grow and change my ways with regards to my relationships with women. I've given both monetarily and emotionally (as much as I am capable) and it still leaves me sitting here alone.

What the future holds is unknown. I don't know what I want or how to get it... but I'll drone on upon that topic at some other point.

In the near future, this Sunday, my niece is graduating from High School. I couldn't be more proud of her if she was my own daughter. I've known her and loved her since she came into my life. She's grown up to be a fine young woman and a very talented artist. I will be honored if I am called upon for encouragement, guidence & experience. Should I ever be blessed to have children I'd be lucky to have them be half the person she has been raised to be. 

Again, what the future holds is unknown. But even though I don't always know what I can do for myself, I do know that I can be there for those that I care about. In this life, it's the least I can do. 

Peace...

Comfort & Joy...

It's 12:30am and I'm watching Justice League, the episode titled "Comfort & Joy". It just so happens that it's officially Mother's Day. I've done the "son-like duties" of sending gifts to those that who'd call me son, or care for me and I'll make calls to those who I couldn't send gifts to.

The point is that on special days, holidays, people go out of their way to do something special for others. Not only because they have to but because it's possibly the one time during the year in which people make the earnest attempt to think of others and spread good will and joy. The one time during the year when people make an effort to be kind to one another, when giving is done not just because it's expected but because you know it makes someone else happy. If you can be happy for yourself, you can be happy (or try to be) for the sake of others. 

Over the years, I've gotten more solemn during the holidays but knowing that I put a smile on someones face with a present I've sent them puts a little happiness in my heart. For example, a dear friend of mine needed a gift for her daughters birthday and she noticed a toy of mine that I hadn't played with in years. So I offered it to her for her to give to her daughter. For the most part it was nothing for me to give it away - it was just collecting dust. But for her it ment that she could give her daughter something cool for her birthday. Even if her daughter doesn't like it I can take solice in knowing that I helped my friend. (hope i don't break my arm patting myself on the back - lol).

I guess that if I can bring a little joy & comfort to people from time to time, that's enough to bring me a little comfort & joy. It doesn't have to wait until the major holidays. It just takes a little compassion, graciousness and giving of yourself to someone other than yourself and not expect anything in return. That's the part most people will have problems with... doing it just for the sake of doing it. If we, people, can get past that maybe Comfort & Joy would & could happen more often.

Happy Mother's Day & Peace.