I'm scared and afraid. The fact that my stepmom is getting worse either from the chemo or from the cancer has me on edge. I afraid that I won't get to see her in time should the worst happen. I'm afriad of what that will do to my fathers state of mind and what he'll do if he's alone. I'm afraid that I won't be able to take him out of the dessert and bring him back here to the NW where his son are and can be a part of his life. 

Right now I feel completely alone and that I can't depend on anyone for help or support during this time. I will be strong for them, my folks, my parents. I will be ready when they need me but it's getting more difficult each day I hear that she's not doing better. What makes it worse is that there's nothing I can do to help. I can't even afford to just be there for them. I don't know what to do and it's very hard dealing with that.