an awkward dream...

When I finally went to sleep last night I had a dream that I was going to meet a woman from online. For some reason this woman had me wrapped around her finger. It was her birthday and she posted a wish-list. On this list she asked for a specific bowling ball. A friend told me get her the ball, no one else would would get that from her list - so I did. When her birthday arrived, she said for everyone to meet her at a shopping mall. When I got there (with the bowling ball) there were men everywhere trying to get to her with their presents for her. Going up and down stairs, jumping escalators, running through fountains,  just to get to her. After going through this obstical course I finally presented her with the gift of her custom bowling ball. I was the only one to give that gift. She was very thankful and wanted to get together for bowling and to get to know each other in person...  AND THEN I WOKE UP! (damnit!)

Though this was an awkward dream, I've had it before I just couldn't remember it. Maybe it the change in the weather. I'm sleeping better but I'm also dreaming more. 

That's all for now.
Peace.

The one that got away is now completely out of reach...

Over the past few years I've gotten out of touch with people that I once called friends or acquaintences. One of these people was a woman who I believe I had real feelings for. Our courtship was short, and our timing was off. She had two young children and I worked odd and long hours. Those problems aside, she was beautiful and smart and i believe she would've been good for me. 

Today I found out that she has gotten married, and is of course happy. She deserves happiness. Any woman who has ever been with me, for a period of time, who has treated me as well as I treated her, deserves the happiness that I couldn't provide for her. Though I wish her the best like any man a part of me is saddened that I wasn't the man to win her heart, be her champion and husband. 

Maybe I'm not the right man for anyone. I'm still too selfish and self important. The current women I'm involved with are treated with all the kindness I can muster. I make a concerted effort to please and show them respect but I'm no white knight and I probably will never be the kind of man they would want to stay with/marry.

Contratulations to the one who got away! Maybe I'll get lucky and fall in love again and allow myself to suspent disbelief and disillusion to want the cliche of the Nuclear Family. 

Why is America Great?

The youngest but most powerful "super power" on the planet. Other countries say that we have no culture or heritage. There may be truth to it. 

They say that Americans are arrogant and ignorant of other countries hardships. Again, there may be truth to it. 

We don't make the best sushi, have the strongest world currenty, we're over weight, over worked, and indulge in excess.  Who am I to argue. But here's the real deal...

1. We created the automobile and it's means of mass production.

2. We invented the telecommunications including, radio, tv, vcr, telephone, shortwave, HAM, CB etc... etc... etc...

And 3. We created the microwave oven! Though that may not sound like such a big deal the truth is that this "metal box" spawn an entire industry of things that get jammed into said box. Be it food or things to hold food. dishes were no longer good just to be used in an oven they now had to be microwave oven safe. This dishes helped the creation of one of the quick fix food-stuffs: microwave nachos! If you have chips and cheese you can have a hot treat that you once would have to go to taco bell for.

This is why America is great, love it or leave it. I for one am gonna stay right here with my oversized body frame, my electric scooter, my iphone, my convection/microwave oven and my fuckin microwave nachos! If you don't like it you can fuck off and swim back to what ever country you or your traditions came from!

PEACE!

The previous generation is starting to go...

It's 5:53am. As I rush back to my iPhone to turn off the alarm I see that there was a call and a message since I went to sleep. From my aunt Teri. She had a heart attack (her second or third). She's a very large woman, always has been, at least since I was been a kid. But this heart attack pretty much kicks off the season of death for me. Last year my great-grand mother and grand father died and 2 years prior my grand mother passed away, all during this "holiday season". 

This doesn't bode well for the family. We're already split apart and unwilling to get together for anything other than a wedding or funeral. We have no center or common ground anymore. Big Momma was that center for us all but people also walked all over her, took advantage of her ignorance, hell they even just stole from her but she was the center. Though my aunt Teri may want to be the center there are too many others jockeying for position. Her loss to the family leaves her husband, son and grand children in the ether and possibly with out focus, without their center. I don't know... I'm worried that the next heart attack will be her last unless she drops a large amount of her bulk. 

Even though I'm not the most attentive family member, I would miss her very much. She's been a great part of my life growing up...