A little less these days...
Over the past 2 years, I've lost 40lbs. People tell me I'm looking better, thinner. My clothes are more loose, I feel better overall.
I'm on the verge of fulfilling the financial responsibility of paying off my student loans.
On top of that, women that I haven't heard from in months are starting to communicate with me again (it is cuffing season afterall). No one wants to be single in the winter.
You'd think that I'd be content, possibly even happy but that is not the case. I'm overworked, not simply alone but lonely, fear uncertainty and doubt are a constants in my thoughts. I worry about my father, where my life is heading, and even if I have much more time to live. These are the thoughts of a man who has worked too much with nothing to show for it. No wife. No children. No home of his own. No car. Nothing of any worth or value. An adult life spent in trying to keep from being a statistic. And for what?
What good is it to be an upstanding man, when no one knows you're there.
What good is it to be a model citizen, when the general public looks at you as menace?
What good is it to behave and follow the rules of society, when your life can be snuffed out because of the color of your skin?
I don't know where my life is going. My primary goal is within reach, but then what?
It is times like now when I realize I've spent way too much time in my head, and not enough time with people.
To who ever stumbles upon this blog, take this piece of advice: find someone to share your life with. Give your love freely. If that love fades, find another. Life and love are to be shared, it may not be forever but it is a splendid thing with the right person(s).
Be well. Love somebody, be loved by somebody.
I'm on the verge of fulfilling the financial responsibility of paying off my student loans.
On top of that, women that I haven't heard from in months are starting to communicate with me again (it is cuffing season afterall). No one wants to be single in the winter.
You'd think that I'd be content, possibly even happy but that is not the case. I'm overworked, not simply alone but lonely, fear uncertainty and doubt are a constants in my thoughts. I worry about my father, where my life is heading, and even if I have much more time to live. These are the thoughts of a man who has worked too much with nothing to show for it. No wife. No children. No home of his own. No car. Nothing of any worth or value. An adult life spent in trying to keep from being a statistic. And for what?
What good is it to be an upstanding man, when no one knows you're there.
What good is it to be a model citizen, when the general public looks at you as menace?
What good is it to behave and follow the rules of society, when your life can be snuffed out because of the color of your skin?
I don't know where my life is going. My primary goal is within reach, but then what?
It is times like now when I realize I've spent way too much time in my head, and not enough time with people.
To who ever stumbles upon this blog, take this piece of advice: find someone to share your life with. Give your love freely. If that love fades, find another. Life and love are to be shared, it may not be forever but it is a splendid thing with the right person(s).
Be well. Love somebody, be loved by somebody.
posted by Fat Bobby at 8:53 AM
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